The Eternal Individual

How many times have you felt the need to bash up someone and found yourself helpless? How many times have you felt like screaming at your boss but had to restrain yourself? How many times you wanted to punch a bully but could not?

Not any more if you follow this little advice.

When you are angry with someone, do not fight or confront the person. As soon as you feel the anger, take yourself in a quiet place. Preferably sit down on a chair. Take a few deep breaths. Imagine that the person you want to give out to or thrash up, is standing in front of you. Then deal with the person in the same manner as your feelings dictate. If you want to bash them up, do so. If you want to scream at them, do so. If you want to punch that person, do so. Carry on doing the activity in your mind, till you notice your anger calming down. When you are satisfied, you can stop and then open the eyes.

I have been using this exercise for last many years with my patients. It does not require confronting the person. You get the tension and anger out of your system. The other party never needs to know how angry you felt about them. It does not spoil your relationship with the person.

Pradeep K Chadha is a psychiatrist who has developed his own innovative methods to deal with depression. He is the author of The Stress Barrier-Nature’s Way to Overcoming Stress, published by Backhall Publishing, Dublin. He practises in Dublin, Ireland.
His website address is: http://www.drpkchadha.com

I hear from many people that they see ever increasing expressions of anger in their everyday life. Understanding the process of anger is an important topic for all of us to take a closer look at.

If you take the time to delve deeper into your own anger, or resentment, you will often find that you are seriously limiting your ability to feel and express the full range of your emotions. In the process of limiting yourself, you become the victim of your emotions. You might be angry because you feel that someone else should be punished, but in the long run your anger will wind up punishing yourself. You might wind up resenting the way you are treated by others, but if you take a look you will usually find that your resentment limits your ability to feel happy in a more general sense.

If you feel stuck in a situation where you can only say “Yes” then your response will not come from your heart, and your response will not be supported by the emotions your body generates. When you feel unable to say “No” then you will likely find that no matter what you say verbally, “No” becomes the default response you want to give to others. You will likely find yourself even more frustrated as you understand on an emotional level that you are never sharing your true feelings. When you are able to speak the truth of both your “Yes” and “No” in a calm manner, you will find that you experience a sense of emotional freedom and well-being.

When it is all said and done, when we delve deeply into our emotions, we almost always find that our strongest and most habitual response is covering up other feelings that we are not fully aware of. We feel hurt, disrespected, abandoned, or sad, and we cover over these feelings and lose touch with them, by expressing anger or resentment instead.

When we find ways to tap into our deeper emotions we invariably find that we have been neglecting some form of pain or discomfort. When we neglect or simply don’t notice our deeper emotional reactions, we lose the ability to express our full range of emotions. In the process we find that by consistently expressing only one segment of our entire emotional range, we limit our ability to be happy and feel at ease within ourselves and with those that we interact with.

It is important to remember that our emotions emanate from the body. When you are feeling angry, your body generates a specific set of reactions that inform your rational mind of your emotional experience. When you are feeling respected or loved your body generates a very different set of reactions. With Seishindo and other disciplines you can explore the process of how your body generates your emotional state and you can come to understand how at times you say one thing with your body and something rather different with your words. You can come to understand how you wind up confusing yourself when you say one thing with your heart and another with your logical mind. If you do wind up confusing yourself on a regular basis, you will find that your overall health and vitality suffer in the process.

Only when you feel like you have the right to say “No” can you truly engage your heart in saying “Yes.” Only when your body and your rational mind communicate the same message in a congruent manner, will you find yourself feeling empowered and at ease. Take the time to gently explore your feelings and you will find that your emotional well-being resides deep inside yourself, waiting to be touched and acknowledged.

Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Benefit from his thought-provoking ideas and a new self-help Practice every two weeks, by joining 7,000 subscribers to his complimentary newsletter devoted to Seishindo Somatic Life Coaching. You are also invited to learn more about the Seishindo approach to Anger
Management issues, which draws from the wisdom of Aikido as well as scientific research. Participating in Charlie’s on Anger
Management Workshop can help you adopt the wisdom of Aikido to achieve a peaceful victory over anger. © Charlie Badenhop, 2005. You have permission to publish this article electronically free of charge, as long as the bylines with the active links are included and you don’t sell the article to others.

Our client, Aaron, told us that in his family they typically yell at one another to get the point across. Aaron recently got in a relationship with a woman who told him that his anger “scares” her when he gets upset. Aaron’s reply was that he was not upset, this was “just the way I am used to expressing myself when I get upset, this is normal for me”. The reality is that what might be “normal” for you and your family of origin may not be the “norm” is terms of communicating effectively with others. Aaron’s style of communication is aggressive, but he didn’t realize the impact it had on his girlfriend. Aaron had to learn about his style of communication as well as other styles of communication to understand the kind of changes he needed to make. By learning to become more assertive, Aaron felt better, his needs got met more of the time, and his girlfriend no longer feared him when he did get upset.

The way we communicate or the style we use to communicate is often learned from much earlier experiences in our lives when our language skills were newly formed. Think about your family’s style of communication for a moment. Is your style similar to any of theirs? Most of us tend to communicate in a way that was adaptive in the environment we grew up, but problematic in our lives today. For many of us, our style of communication can leave us with unmet needs, unexpressed emotion, and damaging effects on those around us. It is important to understand that there are many different communication styles, yet only one that tends to yield the results we are seeking. Learning to express your primary feelings and needs, clearly, calmly, with good eye contact is what assertive communication is all about.

Good communication skills are an essential ingredient to anger management because poor communication causes untold emotional hurt, misunderstandings and conflict. Words are powerful, but the message we convey to others is even more powerful and often determines how people respond to us - and how we feel toward them.

Because communication is a two-way process, people with good communication skills are good at “receiving” messages from others as well as delivering them.

If you look at people in your life and we also look at your own behavior, you may discover certain patterns of communication. Some patterns are negative and harmful while others are positive and productive.

Frequently persons who have anger problems use harmful ways of communicating to others - harmful in the sense that it disrupts relationships and usually does not accomplish the goals that you intended.

Assertive communication, on the other hand, is a much more effective way to get what you want and what you need without the negative consequences. In short, the development of assertive communication skills will works for you by making you a more effective and less stressed person.

What is assertive communcation? Is is a way to communicate so that you convey your rights in a good way. Assertive communication helps people clearly explain their wants, needs, and feelings to other people. It is a way of getting things that you want without violating or offending others’ rights or having to walk away without getting what you want.

Assertive people tell others what they want and need clearly; they have a knack of saying the correct thing at the correct time.

Assertive communication skills are the antidote to harmful, destructive communication patterns.

The AJ Novick Group is a leading provider of Anger Management classes and training. He is the co-author of “Anger management for the Twenty-first Century” and a leading provider of anger management in southern California. For more information contact Mr. Novick at http://www.ajnovickgroup.com or ari@ajnovickgroup.com

“The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:

• Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness are incompatible.

• Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course.

• Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships.

• Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood.

• Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases anger).

• We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process information.

People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management programs and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.

For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:

Ask yourself this question: “Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?” Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.

Ask yourself: “What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?” If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.

Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too … sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?

Ask yourself this question: “Did that person do this to me on purpose?” In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.

Try some “new and improved” variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing — from your diaphragm — helps people relax.

Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old “one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc.” trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about “One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream”, or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.

Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.

One thing I do not recommend is “venting” your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that “venting” anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.

If these tips do not help at all and you still feel you cannot manage your anger and the related stress, you may need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.

About The Author

David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy (http://TheHappyGuy.com), author of “Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html For more tips on controlling anger, boosting self-esteem, expressing gratitude and reducing stress, pick up a copy of The Get Happy Workbook (http://TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-workbook.html)

Info@TheHappyGuy.com

Maybe it’s my age or my distorted perception but anger seems to be much more rampant these days. Its effects have infiltrated families, communities, government and even our educational systems. More than anger, the proportions appear to have taken the forms of rage, hate, hostility, “getting even” and violence. As a former psychotherapist, I decided to obtain training as a mediator as well. I learned that the most difficult feat to engineer is to get people on opposite sides of an issue to sit across the table from one another in order to find a “win-win” solution to their differences so that resolution and not revolution might become the final outcome. The key factor, of course, is to be able to introduce the art of communication as a basic tool enabling this achievement.

As much as the differences between people may be cited as being the root cause of the anger being experienced…and the most evident…there are also commonalities that bind the conflicting parties which are much more difficult to identify yet do exist nonetheless. Once those common elements can be identified through various steps provided for by the professional mediator, the process of resolution can become much more fluid and easier to achieve. Of course, the whole process is predicated on the fact that people can get past their anger…albeit justified in most cases…in order to have their sense of rationality surface and become the “common denominator” allowing the process to become successful.

As a relatively new resident of Florida, my wife and I have been very impressed with the outgoing friendliness that’s been displayed by people. Their willingness to help us become acclimated to “Florida Living” has been welcomed to say the least. However, recently we have also witnessed some intensive conflict as evidenced in some of the meetings held in the Community around importantly common issues. Personally, I am alarmed at what form these differences are taking and, more importantly, where and how they will culminate. My only hope is that reasonability and resolution will be the mainstay methods that will ultimately be employed instead of ANGER ON THE MOVE.

As a Community, we have demonstrated the “good will” of our people in many different ways. The most obvious is the manner in which we have “stepped up to the plate” in helping those much less fortunate than ourselves who were victimized by Hurricane Charley. The outpouring of help and support was truly remarkable and took many different forms for many of us. Just as there was no question about whether we should or shouldn’t help, there should be no question about resolving the concerns and differences that we are experiencing as well. It is in that sense that our Community will grow and prosper and our reputation will follow us because of the “early settlers” ability to “make it work” instead of “utilizing the methods of “search and destroy”.

Refer to previous bio

In order to free ourselves from the pain of anger and resentment we need to be able to forgive our self and others. The longer we dwell on hurtful situations from the past, the longer we keep our self from living fully in the present. Forgiveness is an act of kindness. An act of kindness to your self, as it leads to a sense of personal freedom.

Recently I had a client who had a lot of resentment towards her mother for many things that she had done to her in the past.
“I don’t want to forgive my mother for what she did in the past.” my client said. “What she did is wrong, and she has never apologized.”
I hear this very same statement from many clients who are living with resentment, whether it be towards their parents, their spouse, or their boss.

I asked my client if she felt that anyone other than herself, was responsible for, and capable of, making her happy. After a rather long and convoluted discussion, she said that when it was all said and done, she realized that she was indeed the only one that could make herself happy.

We sat there together for a while, and then I took a deep breath and suggested that my client do so as well. Here is an idea, I said. “What if as a totally selfish act, done simply for your own personal happiness, you decided to go ahead and let go of the resentment you had towards your mom, so that you would no longer need to have resentment clouding your life. What would that be like?” “You would not be saying that what was done to you was OK. You would simply be letting go of the resentment so that your own life would be happier. Would you want to let go of your resentment if it meant you would feel greater happiness?”

We sat there together for a while and my client’s face softened. She said that if she was able to let go of her resentment, it would be like lifting a weight from her shoulders, and removing a dark cloud from her heart.

“With all you have been through,” I said. “With all of the pain you have suffered, wouldn’t it be a wonderful gift to yourself if you could lift this weight from your shoulders and remove the dark cloud from your heart? Would it not be wonderful to be freed from your hurt and resentment?”

She sat there for a while, as tears formed, and she said very softly “Yes, I want to feel good. I want to feel love. I want to feel free.”

“So” I said, “In order to free yourself from pain and open your heart to love, you would be willing to go so far as to forgive your mother if this is what you felt was necessary for your own personal happiness?”
She was somewhat hesitant, but said “Yes.”
“Remember” I said, “I am suggesting that you do this purely for selfish reasons. Not because you want to actually forgive your mom at this point in time, but because you want to free yourself to live a happier life.”
My client said “Yes, when it is said like this, I have the resolve to forgive my mother, in order to free myself to live a happier life.”
“Good I said. “Hold these thoughts and feelings in your heart for a while and then we can talk about how to actually accomplish your forgiving.”

How about you? Are you holding onto any resentment? Are you ready to recapture your happiness? Would you be willing to undertake the radical act of forgiveness in order to free yourself? I certainly hope so.

And if not today, maybe tomorrow.

Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Benefit from his thought-provoking ideas and a new self-help Practice every two weeks, by subscribing to his free newsletter about the importance of Mindfulness in our lives. If you want to learn more about anger
management or become involved in Practices that can help you to feel calm and centered, Seishindo is a great choice. Find out more about Seishindo
Anger Management theories and practices by reading the Seishindo Newsletter issue entitled “Coming to terms with anger.”

© Charlie Badenhop, 2005. You have permission to publish this article electronically free of charge, as long as the bylines with the active links are included and you don’t sell the article to others.

Depression gets a lot of press, in books, articles, on talk shows. On the other hand, mania gets very little attention. In the various books dealing with bipolar disorder, there are lines, sometimes paragraphs, and very rarely, a few pages devoted to dealing with someone who is manic. Furthermore, much of what is written is counsel about hospitalization.

However, in this day and age, it can be very difficult to hospitalize anyone, particularly someone who is as clever and persuasive as a manic person can be. What, then, is a caring person to do, when someone important to him or her is in the full swing of a manic episode?

Dealing with a person who is manic is confusing at best. He or she is constantly testing everybody’s limits, manipulating others’ self-esteem, exploiting others’ vulnerabilities, and projecting responsibility.

The people who love that person can get heaved off balance. They need resources for ballast. While the manic person is flying high, so full, so convincing, so strong, it does not seem possible that he or she will ever crash, especially if it goes on and on. However, eventually the mania will run itself out, and what almost always follows is a deep and dark depression. This is when the potential for suicide increases dramatically and is also when the support person will need a great reserve of strength.

Unfortunately, however, by the time the manic person crashes into depression, the family member is exhausted and lost, and may miss making appropriate decisions in response to their loved one. From a one-down position, powerless in the face of their loved one’s mania, they are suddenly thrust into a position of needing to respond with direction and authority to their loved one’s depressed passivity.

The resulting feelings of impotence, guilt, confusion, and self-blame can only weaken a caring person and make that person more susceptible to the impaired reasoning and countless accusations of the person who is manic. What follows are some thoughts and recommendations for how to survive the manic episode of a loved one.

1. A person who is manic can be quite persuasive especially about his belief that there’s nothing wrong with him. You may find yourself with dangerous doubts about whether your loved one is sick at all. Remember that this is an illness, one with potentially fatal consequences

2. You must be solid within yourself and confident in the knowledge that you are dealing with someone who, although seeming in control, although insisting he has total command of himself, is in actuality quite out of control, if not of his present situation, then of the direction his situation is likely to take him. Remember that his judgment is impaired about what is best for him.

This can feel very disloyal, yet is probably the kindest, most responsible attitude you can have. With this attitude, when it becomes necessary, when your loved one plummets, you will be able to assume the responsibility needed. Believing him, trusting that he knows what is best for himself is like trusting a five-year-old to know that playing in the street is dangerous and can get him killed.

3. If you give in to your doubts, you may be drawn into your person’s reality, which can only lead to your feeling more crazy and self-doubting. It is vital to remain shielded as best you can against such feelings. Knowledge and awareness are the best tools, along with professional guidance and support from people who care about you and understand what you’re going through.

4. Do not try to deal with mania by yourself.

5. Find a psychiatrist who knows mood disorders, and form a strong alliance with that person.

6. Join a group for people dealing with the mania of someone they love. If your spouse or partner has bipolar disorder, find a group for couples who have dealt with the mania of one of them.

10. Read, go to lectures, and study bipolar disorder. Become a member of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) and the National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) and receive their mailings.

Judy Eron is a licensed clinical social worker and the author of the recent book, WHAT GOES UP. . .Surviving the Manic Episode of a Loved One.
She is a national speaker on the subject of dealing with the mania of bipolar disorder.
http://www.judyeron.com

What is depression?

Depression is a serious medical illness; it’s not something that you have made up in your head. It’s more than just feeling “down in the dumps” or “blue” for a few days. It’s feeling “down” and “low” and “hopeless” for weeks at a time.

It is not something you can just pull yourself out of! It is not something that you can just shake off. To read more about the signs and symptoms of depression go to this link: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/depression.cfm#ptdep3

For many people one tiny thing can set off a huge depression attack. I have suffered from depression now for 8 years, I guess to be truthful I have dealt with depression my whole life but just didn’t realize it till the incident I am about to relate to you.

8 years ago my husband Brent was in the military, he had been having problems with his health for a little over a year and the doctors all said it was in his head and that they could find nothing wrong with him. Our oldest sons were only 1 and 3 at the time and we lived in Olympia Washington. I kept telling him to get a second opinion but being we had military insurance and at that time it wasn’t as flexible as it is now, he didn’t want to go get a second opinion. We lived in a nice apartment and I love our life, although I was homesick a lot of times it was the life we chose and so I was happy till the incident I will tell you about.

I woke up one morning your typical morning, get up to pack Brent’s lunch and wake him up for PT (physical training) it was 5:30 in the morning. He wasn’t in bed which for him was very unusual but I thought he may have just needed to use the bathroom and I missed him getting out of bed. I walked into the kitchen to start making our morning coffee, and realized that the TV was still on which it shouldn’t have been. I then started looking for Brent I went into the bathroom and found him in a coma on our bathroom floor.

I couldn’t get a response from him and I panicked. I got the boys up threw them in the car and then dragged my husband from our bathroom to our van to get him to the hospital as fast as I could. Now why didn’t I just call the ambulance? To be honest I didn’t think about that all I wanted to do was get him some help.

When we got to the hospital he was still in a coma, the doctors couldn’t figure out why he was non responsive. They pulled me and my sons out of the room he was in and told me to find someone to watch the boys and get back to the hospital as fast as I could and to call his family as they didn’t think he was going to make it.

I was thrown our perfect life, our safe life was in just a few short hours going to change. I can deal with some stress but the thought of losing my best friend was more than I could bare.

We didn’t have a cell phone at that time so I ran with the kids in both my arms to the payphone to call the only friend I had at that time to tell her what was going on, she was getting ready to move in 2 days but she told me to bring my kids to her house and she would watch them.

I then drove the 20 minutes back to our house dropped the kids off at her house ran home and called his parents. During that time I got a phone call from his captain that the doctor had called him to tell him to track me down as my husband was dying and they didn’t think he was going to pull through. I screamed I cried I just didn’t believe this was happening to us!

I got back in the car and smoked cigarettes to try to calm down, we had quit smoking a month before this, my friend had given me her cigarettes while I was at her house. I rushed into the emergency room and the doctor met me out in the hall way and was asking me all sorts of questions of course I didn’t want to take the time to answer I wanted to get back to my hubby, my world, my best friend. The Doctor told me that his sugar levels were 950 and that he really should have died sometime during the night but he was a fighter.

Finally he let me go into the room where Brent was and I leaned over him pleading with him to not leave me, pleading with him not to leave his sons. He opened his eyes and the only thing he said was “I am mad at you, you were smoking” then he went back into his coma. Of course the doctors then pushed me out of the way and started trying to get him to respond to them, they then told me they were taking him to ICU to work on him and get him on a heart catheter.

48 hours later he was awake and was responding to treatment, they had found out that he was a type 1 diabetic although they still don’t understand how he got it since no one in his family has diabetes and and Type 1 is not the kind you get because of your health or your weight you are usually born with it and diagnosed with it while you are still a kid.

After he was released from the hospital after a 7 day stay I lived in constant worry. I could not focus on anything except making sure he was ok, did he eat, did he take his medications. For weeks I could not sleep at night for fear he would have another attack, I still have times where I go through that now.

In an effort to try to calm my fears I started focusing on things in my life that I could control: my weight, the dirty carpets ( we rented so the carpets were very old and had always looked dirty but I was able to live with that till this happened.

I wouldn’t do the dishes, my poor kids were always dirty, the house was a total mess. I mean have you seen those houses that are on tv that Oprah has shown well at one point my house looked like that. I only focused on scrubbing the carpet. I would get up in the morning look at the kitchen try to clean it up and just couldn’t my attention would be drawn to the dirt spot in the carpet by the kitchen entrance. So I would go out to my cleaning closet get out my bucket and scrub brush and start scrubbing that spot. I would still be there scrubbing hours later when Brent came home for lunch.

My poor sons, I love my sons with all my heart but I will admit for the first month Brent was home from the hospital if it hadn’t been for my mom and my MIL they wouldn’t have been clean or fed. I looked at them and didn’t want to deal. When I was scrubbing the carpets I was zoned out to everything! I didn’t think, I didn’t care. This was so not like me!

Finally Brent knew that something was very wrong with me so he made an appointment for me to see a doctor and I was diagnosed with manic depression and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). They didn’t want to put me on medication right away they want to try to teach me other ways to focus my fears and obsession with out having to resort to medications. But after a month they realized I needed medicine to help me get through this time of my life.

I hate medicine, I don’t like taking it, I have a hard time remembering to finish the whole dosage. So for me it was a struggle in the beginning to just take the medication. After a few months the medicine helped me get my life back to where I was able to handle it again.

Why do I tell you all this, not sure really. I just know that for me it turned my life upside down over the past 8 years we have several times that I have had to call the EMS to save him, our world has changed. I live in the fear that we will have to go through this again.

When he has episodes I go into a state of worry, depression. I pray that our lives will get back to like they were 12 years ago. No worries living in our own little world where nothing hurts us.

I still go into states of depression but now I know the signs I know when I need to call my doctor and I also know now that for me I cannot pull myself out of it! I now can share with my friends when I am down and have made up a support line of other moms who know me and know that I suffer from depression, who I can call or email when I need that emotional support that sometimes a family member cannot give.

I started Support for Moms in an effort to help other moms who suffer from depression or need a place to go to voice their feelings.

I went through another major depression this past spring and when I reached out for help from an online board that I was at I got booted as a moderator after 3 years of being a moderator on the boards and helping other moms who dealt with depression. They told me it was not because I was depressed but since the day before I had just posted that I needed help, I needed to talk and I posted my soul something I rarely do online or for that matter in person to anyone who is not family. I had a hard time believing it was for any other reason. This made me start searching for a place to post to find someone else who I could talk to who was dealing with what I was dealing with.

So Support for Moms was born!

It is my wish that the site and the boards offer comfort, support for all moms from all walks of life dealing with situations that they have no control over.

So if you are in need of comfort, support or just want to vent and get life’s stresses off your chest please stop by our boards.

Thank you for reading my story and I hope this may help just one person.

Rebecca White
http://www.supportformoms.com
We proudly encourage interaction in our forums to meet other mothers with similar situations and to make life lasting bonds of genuine friendship. The forum is a comfortable, healing place where you can relate. Tips abound for saving time and money with coupons, rebates, organization and thirty minute dinner ideas. We freely give imaginative ideas guaranteed to keep your children occupied.
Our goal is to continually provide the means mothers greatly need to restore their broken wings to make them stronger so they can carry their dreams to their full potential and we will watch them soar.

There is a dictionary definition of hope that says: HOPE: A desire - with
expectation of fulfillment. So then, what is desire? Again the dictionary explains
that “DESIRE” is a strong impulse to have or be something.

With those definitions in mind, consider these thoughts about hope:

The Hope Diamond- mined in India in 1668, was named (in 1839) after one of its
many owners, Henry Hope of England. (Now it is in the Smithsonian, in Washington,
D.C.) It is a many faceted jewel with an original weight of 177 grains (112.3/16
carets- now 45.52 carets). In fact, it is one of the largest and most valuable jewels
ever mined. But, it has often been reported to bring bad luck to those who possess
it. Even so, Evalyn McLean, one of the owners of the Hope Diamond, disregarded
those superstitions and said: “What tragedies have befallen me might have occurred
had I never seen or touched the Hope Diamond. My observations have persuaded
me that tragedies, for anyone who lives, are not escapable.”

This, I believe, reveals her strong conviction that where there is life there is hope,
regardless of the opinions or superstitions of others.

Regarding hope, in his study of emotional intelligence Daniel Goldman said: “hope
means that one will not give in to overwhelming anxiety, a defeatist attitude, or
depression in the face of difficult challenges or setbacks. Hope is more than the
sunny view that everything will turn out all right; it is believing you have the will and
the way to accomplish your goals.”

President Abraham Lincoln understood the value of hope. He knew his hopes would
succeed and that numerous setbacks were inevitable before the Civil War could be
brought to a victorious close.

In addition, Jesus, when praying in the Garden, knew he was on the path that would
soon lead toward God’s eternal hope for mankind.

Now, I say: this life is like a jigsaw puzzle. God knows His work wouldn’t be
complete without us! I don’t know about you, but I am an optimist in that I have
always had great expectations and confident assurance that most of my desires
would eventually be fulfilled.

Now let me say, I have great hope and an enthusiastic hope-filled attitude toward
life. That is, I have always trusted and relied on the confident expectation that my
desires would be fulfilled. But, let me throw in a qualifier statement.

You see, when I was much younger I guess I had some pretty wild and rather
immature hopes and desires. Now I know that they were actually a passing fancy,
something I thought I wanted but really didn’t want or desire. In other words, I was
glad some of those hopes were not realized. What I’ve learned over the years is
something I’d like to pass along to you and it is this: Before I was a saved believer in
Jesus, I had a lot of self-centered desires and hopes. After I was born again, my
viewpoint gradually changed to that of a Christian with a heartfelt need, desire and
hope to please my Lord. Then, I began to try my best to see things as if I were
seeing them through the eyes of Jesus.

Gradually, over a long period of time (I guess I’m a slow learner), I began to submit
my desires and hopes to the Holy Spirit and to ask Him for His advice, wisdom and
guidance.

Slowly it dawned on me that in order to lead a life that was pleasing to Jesus, I had
to learn to put things that were related to: I, me, my and mine in the background
and put the Lord’s hopes and desires for me - regarding His glory - in the
foreground.

Thus, in His gentle way, Jesus showed me that He wanted the things he’d created in
me to simply be available to Him for His purposes whenever he needed them. So, at
that point it became my hope to always be attentive to the desires and needs of my
Lord.

You see, He only made one person, one human being, exactly like me. Therefore,
there must be something unique and special about me. Something the Lord needs
to make use of today, tomorrow or at some special time in the future. I’m sure it
must be something He knows only I can do for Him.

So - now, with this insight in mind, I try my best to keep myself accessible and
available to Jesus and His needs. I simply tell Him in my daily prayers, that whatever
happens to me in this life, a life where problems are inescapable, I know life goes
on. And, where life is — there — is hope.

P.S. The Acronym: “H.O.P.E.” can be divided into these four ideas. We can picture
Hope as being like a circle that surrounds at least four segments held within the
circle:

H = Holy Spirit
O = Opportunity for change
P = Perspective
E = Eternity

QUESTION:
With all of this is mind, what is your HOPE for today?

http://crafty-ones.com/web/viewXPage.asp?pageID=77
http://www.weberanchorsoffaith.com

Terry Weber is a retired advertising/direct mail sales letter copywriter and inventor of several useful items. Terry and his wife Doris are Habitat For
Humanity, RV Care-A- Vanners who, for the past eight years have volunteered to
help build more than 39 houses all over the USA. They travel to and from the 2-
week long builds in their RV. The money they make on their Crafty-Ones website
helps them pay their expenses to and from those volunteer Habitat builds.
P.S. Due to the high cost of gasoline we can no longer afford to drive the RV to
Habitat builds. The RV is parked until gasoline prices come down. (4/28/06)

Well there sure is a whole lot of discussion these days with regards to sex abuse in the world. We have Catholic Priests molesting children, child sex slaves in many countries and abductions all over the place. It is hard to say if there is more of this lately or if indeed the media realizes that people are very upset with it all?

Recently in an online forum think tank a gentleman got a little carried away with all this and discussed that all this sex abuse in the world is not directly related to the Clinton-Lewinsky situation, but the Abu Grave scandal. In fact he stated:

“Sex Abuse and Mind Control Starts at the Top” and “If you take the time to verify (do your own searches) you will agree that Monica was a PG scandal, whereas, this is XXXXXXXXXXXX+”

Of course after stating this he tried to re-direct everyone to his Blog where he really got into some real conspiracy type stuff, way over the top. So another member of the online group challenged him on his claims and how he tied all this in with the Abu Grave Scandal. The other think tanker asked:

“Are you implying that the Monica Lewinsky, was peanuts compared to the Abu Grave Prison events? If so, why do you say that? The Abu Grave thing appeared to be an issue of psychological warfare on those imprisoned to break down their self esteem and build them back up in order to entice them to give us information, as perhaps an interrogation process. That backfired due to the media and was probably a less than tactful event, similar perhaps to the Monica Lewinsky event, also far less than tactful and quite frankly none of my business. May I ask what your point is here? There is a section on this website which discusses prison abuse. Yet you are making statements in anonymity and these statements of yours are somewhat attacking. Not so sure this is a viable way to approach topics on a think tank, are you? Why are you doing this? Are you a staunch Democrat and wish to slander the current leadership or The United States of America? Why? I do not believe anyone condones the public sexual humiliation of those Muslim Abu Grave prisoners caught on film in sex acts of their own free will. Those pictures should never have been made public.”

You can imagine how the debate continued to get rather aggressive and how both sides quickly came to an impasse. Needless to say the poster of the original comment was asked to back up his story and verify his facts. But he could not. Do you have a more viable explanation for all the sex abuse issues on the news and in our society and around the world? If so, let’s hear them. Think on this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/